ANGER HANGOVER

Its been one of those days when everything angers you. You wake up late and miss the gym again. The pigeons coo in the loo even louder than before. The Internet is extremely slow and keeps getting disconnected. All this gets just one emotion out of you.. ANGER.
It can be handled if its just one day of anger. But what do you do if you have an anger hangover. When you slept angry and woke up with more anger because you went to sleep with Hugh Jackman and woke up to find your faithful room mate still wrapped up in her quilt. Angry!

So on a very very angry day I stepped out of my house very very angry.

Angry because i had to reach work early,

Angry because I did not eat lunch,

Angry because I saw that damn auto wallah adjusting his mirror to get the perfect view of my assets.

So the professional part of the day began, drab boring and all boxed up. Like a machine I finished one task after another feeling more and more angry at being so mechanical.

After all this a supremely evil and wicked woman who I refuse to call my boss, calls me and tells me I have done it all wrong! WOW! I AM SO ANGRY! I could kill anyone who crossed my way. The volcano was about to burst, the lava ready to burn anything it touched.

And then my roommate from Pune called. We live in the same city but have not seen each other for over a month now. Of all the places she was coming to see me in my office. Pah! I thought! why here. But still.. yeah! I'll meet my Kamri today (that's what she calls me a Hindi translation of roomie). Like one excited child I sat waiting for her call. I kept smiling at my monitor and am sure he was surprised because am always scowling and growling at him in normal conditions.

The call came and I sprang up from my chair, so excited that i forgot the way out.
Well finally I made it! We hugged each other and at one moment I wanted to cry out aloud. I had never thought I would be so happy to see her. But I was. We did not sit down we just stood and spoke. In those few minutes we caught up a lifetime.

Aah! she really made my day. I did not want her to leave. I told her lets run away on your new bike Shubhe! She laughed and said, you are mad Kamri and that was it! all those moments of anger were doused. I was happy and skipped back to my seat smiled at my monitor and got back to work smiling.

At the end of it all my anger is starting to pile up again.
But am happy! At least all the backlog is gone.

SNATCH IT BACK

Finally I hit the basic funda of life. Am sure when i tell you what it is you will say hah! whats new about it? 30,000 people have hit it before you and have been hitting on it even after you hit it. So for all those who are going to say this to me don't read ahead.. No DON'T!
Now for the rest...

Well I found out how this world and maybe human relations function. Bentham said human beings are hedonistic by nature and of course he is right. That is why we quote him! Coming back to my theory. So we all want pleasure I think happiness is a better word.

So now if we divide this world into two spheres, one is us or you or me.. who want happiness. The other is they, her/him who also want happiness. Now, no one said that our happiness lies in different things. It coincides in some cases it clashes in others.

So now if a add a little bit of Marx to Bentham, you will find that there is dialectics. You want happiness and they want happiness and we take each others happiness. Human existence is all about getting happiness and taking someone elses.

I realised this when someone took away my happiness. Don't ask who. Someone just took it.
It made me angry! I wanted to scream, shout, exclaim! How can he/she take my happiness. Its mine! Since then i have been spending nights scheming and planning how to get my happiness back. Trust me, now that i know it is the crux of human existence i have to get it back.

In case you have also just realised that all the anger within you is because someone has taken away your happiness. Stop reading! go and get it back. Its yours! Run! snatch it back. It is all that matters!

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Are you in the Market?

Have you been sized up, checked out and then told "hmm... you are ready." Have curious aunties seen you from the corner of their eyes and given each other that knowing smile. Though you are the center of attraction, you will not know that you are being evaluated so closely for the Market.
Then out of the blue one day your mother will call you. She will make very formal and hesitant conversations and then.

"Ummm.. achcha, you remember Monster uncle who we met in Delhi?"
"Haan, the one whose son was so full of himself that he could not pick up the chocolate wrapper he threw on the street and put it into a dustbin 2 mins away?"
"Umm... aa.. well his son Devil is almost your age. So we matched your horrorscopes and they seem fine. Why don't you just get in touch with him... see if you like him. There is no harm in talking....."

BANG! thats it. There is a flashing new sign on your forehead now!
FRESH STOCK IN STORE...
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REVIVED FROM THE TRASH CAN

I was going through the list of my unpublished posts and found this really short one. Guess I wrote it when I was fed up with my previous job. Here it goes:

To quit or not to quit is the question. I know Shakespeare just turned 360 degrees in his grave. But then its time we contemporise him a little, or rather remix him.

Coming back to the question.

Why is it so difficult to just leave it?

To stop and then start again.

To act like we are playing a game.

Pause and then choose to restart.

A new day, a new

WHEN YOU UNLOAD ON THE ROAD

Everything was perfect about that day. The sun was in the right direction, there was no sign of clouds, the traffic was pushing along at the speed of 20 and random men were staring at random women irrespective of their age, size or beauty. It was on a day like this that I, brace yourself, stepped into Shit.

It was some sort of Marxian dialectics happening that day. The conflict between the ideal and the real landed me into some solid human waste.
After the most satisfying workout, I stepped out of the gym, happy that I made it the second time in two weeks (okay I work night shifts and early mornings have stopped challenging me anymore. Its only early afternoon). The plan ahead was quite clear in my head. Reach home, take a bath, eat, get ready and push off to work. I took out my cell phone to call up my mother, who refused to visit me because of the new threat to human existence rampant in the city .
It was in that moment, when my eyes switched from road to the cell phone screen, that shit happened.

The SMS from my service provider reprimanded me for crossing my usage limit and then as if punishing me for ignoring the warning, they send another message telling me that my STD (the one related to telecommunications. Please!), had been blocked.

My face at this point of time bore the most hideous expression. The forehead was wrinkled as usual, nose scrounged up, mouth half open in disbelief and eyes wide yet narrowed in anger. Of course my left had was up in the air completing my surprised and disgusted look. My legs were the only ones not participating in this exercise. As if in an attempt to make its presence felt, my left foot suddenly landed into something plauchy, pasty and later I realised, decomposed.
The erstwhile hideous expression got even better. My body froze with my head turning back and looking down at my left foot incredulously. Oh Shit! I exclaimed! And that’s what it was, deep yellow and partially black blob of human bowel, disfigured by my left foot which was resting on it.

Surprisingly, more than my foot, it was the sight of my brand new Puma floaters in direct contact with that ‘thing’ which made my temper rise. Whoever unloaded themselves in the middle of the footpath was definitely not getting good ‘movements’ for a few days.
Well what had to happen had to happen. It was time to move on. I pulled my foot out and dragged it on the pavement to get rid of the extra, loose pasty element on it. Of course a lot of it was already embedded on the sole which could only be dealt with at home. I walked back home with a deeper frown on my forehead, not knowing what was worse, landing into someones insides or not being able to make STD calls.

As soon as I got home I took of the blessed pair of floaters, which now I realised smelled repulsive, and put them under hot water. But why would it all come out on its own. Everyone likes to enjoy their tiny moment of glory over someones despair, so why would this thing which we usually flush down everyday not act up!

“Fine!” I thought and took my toothbrush which needed change and started scrubbing the thing out. The toothbrush was definitely in for a huge shock. So far it carried nice smelling toothpastes, into the mouth and got washed after being used. Suddenly the poor fellow was vigorously scraping out something which is usually in a place diametrically opposite to the mouth and would soon land in the dustbin.

Any how, after hours of scrubbing and scrapping it was all out of my floaters and back to where it belonged, the drain. My floaters looking even cleaner than before were out in the sun to finally end their traumatic experience with shit. I still had loads to do, clean the bathroom, take a bath, eat and figure out what footwear to wear to office.

The shit is out of my floaters now but the one in life seems to be of some other variety. Guess I have to buy a new brand of toothbrush to scrub it out totally.
Can’t wait to dry myself in the sun!

There is a voice inside my head

From the time we are born to the time of our current exsistence there is someone who has been with us all the time. This person knows possibly everything you have done till now and has quite an accurate idea of what you are going to do next.
Very spooky. A lot of people might know what you have always been upto but knowing what lies ahead is not a very comfortable thought. But you can't really help it, because this character is already a lot into you.
Coming to myself, I, like almost all of you did not have an idea about this mysterious thing around me. I found out about it just 2 years back and since then life has not been the same again.
I left home to pursue my studies in Pune. It was the first time ever. Yes it was scary. But more then fear it was apprehension. The general pangs when you leave your comfort zone and enter unchartered territory. Barely a month into Pune I realised there was someone around. Trying to talk to me.
I kept ignoring it as long as I could. But then one day I just gave in. "Whats wrong with you" it said. "Whats wrong with me?" whats wrong with you! and anyways who the hell are you?" I said quite irritated. "Well its me! cant you recognise me! for God sake! u must be really blind." the voice which sounded very similar to mine replied.
I certainly was not talking to myself i thought. But now it seems I was. Well if you still have not realised who that person talking to me was.. I suggest you should give up. If you don't want to then read it all over again as many times as you want. Am sure you will understand what I am talking about.

BLANK

Staring me in my face, Is a blank page.
No lines no trace, showing its age.
“Where have you come from?” I ask
It says it flew from some artists desk
And flopped itself upon my shelf.

“You talk!” I jumped back surprised
“You listen.” it calmly replied.

There are wonders in me which all do not find
A face is hidden here which is mine.
Put your pen to me and see me shine.

My thoughtlessness put me to shame.
I looked away and tried in vain.
Not a spot of ink tainted its face.
I folded a blank page once again.